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May 2, 2019

You graduated! You're finally here, right? You just finished at least 16 years of schooling: elementary, middle, high school and undergrad. Your aunt you haven't spoken to in months asks, "How do you feel?" And you can't give her an answer...


I feel unaccomplished: this is me being very honest. I feel like these past 4 years flew by and even through all of my accomplishments and completed goals, I don't feel anything. Maybe it's because I'm about to enter the "real world". It could be my anxiety or nerves bouncing all around. Maybe I'm just not excited. Or it could be because I envision where I see myself in the future and I'm not at that point in my life, yet.


It is perfectly fine to feel this way. My prophyte told me, "Fatou, you will probably feel this way up until you receive your master's." I heard this and got scared. Terrified, actually. To know that I don't feel content with all of the hard work that I put in over this course of time scares the hell out of me because I am about enter into a new stage of my life. A stage where I am becoming the woman that I have longed to be. And through all of this, I figured out why I have these sentiments.


I am not the person who I strive to be.


I can envision, I can plan out every goal but I'm not quite there yet. For many, completing undergrad means everything in the world to the them. For me, it is the first step into my future for a purposeful reality. This journey was not easy in any way or form, but I know that it's not over. So if you feel how I feel and you don't know what to say or how to react, just take a deep breath and say, "I'm ready for life." 


A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You are now in control of your life and your first step is finally complete. 

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